There have been times, in the formidable 10+ months of the Vowel’s existence, that I have had some non-copywriting-related thought or rant or scheme or success that I have wanted to share with the world; times in which I have thought, “Golly gee whiz, Charlotte. If only you had some sort of blog in which to share these nuggets of brightly polished genius.” Hastily shoehorning my daily mental excreta into a blog originally designed for copywriting doesn’t really work. I had to deliberately shoehorn my daily mental excreta into a blog originally designed for copywriting.

So I’ve done some trimming and shuffling and lubricating and now I give you The Irritable Vowel: Shocker Edition!

Two in the pink, all in the carefully sterilized latex glove before you get that shit anywhere near me.

Two in the pink, all in the sink full of soapy hot water immediately after we’re done and NO DON’T TOUCH THE SHEETS damn it now I have to burn them.

The Vowel will now serve the dual purpose of personal and copywriting blog. I imagine entries for the former will quickly overtake the latter, not only because most of my life — BRACE YOURSELF — has very little to do with the work of copywriting, but because recently that work became a lot easier — and thus less hilarious. Writing for people who don’t suck means I have less to gripe about. More fun for me, not as much fun for you.

But don’t despair. You salivating, excitable marketing dicks out there can just think of this as a CONTENT EVOLUTION. I’m leveraging existing assets into the framework of more expansive ideation! I’m encapsulating multiple thoughtifications into a “back pocket” package of transportable purpose! Is this good? Am I doing it right? I’m three knuckles deep in wet hot content, oh yeah!

I don’t like to think of what writing that paragraph made me do as “vomiting.” I like to think of it as a stomachgasm.

Because I’m lazy as hell I’m not changing the template much, but I’ve tried to make it work to suit its new role. I’m also not going to explain those changes to you (owing largely to the aforementioned laziness), but hopefully you’re not so stupid that you can’t navigate a website in 2013. Also probably you don’t especially care. Good on you. Good on you.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to a brand new year of making things — some awesome, some pretty okay, some butt-tighteningly impressive failures — and, in the course of documenting them, getting some laughs along the way. I’m no Bloggess, but the Vowel has been surprisingly good to me in this last regard. It seems that the harder I try to be a miserable, cantankerous old man, the more people see through my ruse. (But I really am a miserable, cantankerous old man. If you don’t believe me, ask my colon, HEYO!)

This is off to a great start. I can tell.

I’m pretty much 90% technique, 10% style.

Happy 2013! Now go kiss your mother with that mouth. I know I sure will.


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